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Sindrow's Note: So I got this super long, super slow story written and I miiiight be posting it somewhere else just cause it's too long to post up here. Maybe. It has about 35 chapters, so... you tell me if you still want to read it after reading this one.

P.S. By the way, this comes from an old project so I'm sorry that it sounds like something for remaja tanggungs :))

Chapter 16: Numbers

April 8th 2010

It had been 6 months since Marita was chosen to be Number Two to Emily Hines’ Captain position for the cheerleading squad, securing her position on top of the food chain of the Belleville High School. Students parted like the red sea whenever they pass by, giving room for superiority.

She liked it. She liked it a lot.

She liked that it gave her an excuse to be a bitch without holding the responsibilities of a Captain. Bossing people around was just one of her callings. So were giving death glares, pointing out mistakes and coming up with lines to build and tear people down at the same time ("It's called tough love, America's Next Top Skank. You better take off that nose ring before Coach Kirkham gets here. And for God's sake take a shower. You smell like Pepe Le Pew in heat.”).

In all honesty, though, she liked that she gets to just dance around to music during practices. She liked that it made her spend less time talking to a tree and she liked that she gets to spend a lot of time with a good friend. The bottom line was, she liked that it made her think less of… other things.

oOoOo

It had been one year and exactly one month since Dan asked her to be a member of a stupid choir that he was teaching. And all because she was one of the popular cheerleaders— not because she could sing.

She was going to refuse because, really, it offended her that Dan only wanted her there because he thought she could pull a couple of other cheerleaders, or at least Emily, into the club. To think that Dan had heard her sing, and play the piano, before. The nerve.

But she saw how desperate Dan had looked when he told her the choir was going to be disbanded if they couldn't find more singers. He went on and on about how sad the kids were going to be if they found out. It was annoying, but it was one of those stories that she couldn't help but relate to. If anyone knew the scary feeling you get when you're about to lose something, it's Marita.

So she rolled her eyes, said yes and promised to bring at least Emily with her. But she added a condition at the end: people above 29 weren't allowed to attempt rap songs. And by 'people', she meant Dan. She had heard stories of him trying to be cool in front of the choir and she wasn't going to take anymore of the secondhand embarrassment.

The promise earned her a big bear hug from the man, which she returned, but it distracted her from the promise that he was supposed to make. Two weeks later he busted a move in the choir room while rapping to— what else?— Young MC's Bust A Move.

Sasha Austin, as expected, was also a member of that club and even though they hadn't really been talking for more than a year (social status and all that) Marita found her to be the same girl that she had spent time with through out middle school. Nice, sometimes loud and a total powerhouse when she sang.

She sort of regretted that they drifted away, but high school is a scary jungle and it's all about knowing which animals to kill, which ones to step on and which ones to avoid altogether. Besides, it wasn't like she was that awful to Sasha. In fact, Sasha was one of the very few people that she kept civil with. It was never out of spite that Marita avoided her, it was out of grief.

"Hey," Marita heard Sasha whisper. "I know he's practically your dad—"

"Ew," Marita brought her hand to her chest and closed her eyes dramatically.

"—but please tell him to stop."

Marita glanced at Dan who was doing the worm in front of the class. A few kids did cat calls and somehow it boosted his confidence so much that he started doing body rolls.

Marita rolled her eyes and whispered back. "How 'bout you tell him to stop? I'm busy trying to block this cheap karaoke version of a cheap 1989 one hit wonder out of my head."

"Cholula, I ain't no miracle worker. You go do it."

Marita did a double take. She looked to Emily, who was sitting to her left, to see if she heard what Sasha just said. Of course, she didn't. Too busy throwing tiny paper balls at the very annoying Lisa Stevens.

"Did you just call me Cholula?"

"I… yeah, I kinda did," Sasha admitted nervously. It was the first time ever since Marita last talked to her. Surely she hadn't just screwed it up?

Marita squinted her eyes and Sasha gulped loudly.

"I like it," Marita let her words hang in the air, "Wheezy."

She gave Sasha a smile— a real smile— and they both grinned. It was like old times for a little while, before they both remembered the last puzzle piece that was missing.

It had blonde hair and blue eyes.

oOoOo

It had been 2 years, 2 months and 3 weeks since Emily dragged her to the gym, to shake their booty to an embarrassingly amateur routine in front of their soon-to-be coach, Candace Kirkham.

She still remembered it like it was yesterday. The nauseating feeling before they auditioned, the way Candace had squinted her eyes before telling their 'lazy round butts' to start shaking, but most importantly, the way Candace stopped their routine halfway.

Marita's heart dropped when it happened. As Candace scribbled something furiously on her clipboard, she shared confused glances with Emily, trying to figure out what had gone wrong and who screwed up.

"Well, Longoria, Barbie," Candace looked pointedly at both of them. "Congratulations. Not only did you make me want to throw up midgets like a Volkswagen at a circus, you also succeeded making my eyes bleed with that horrendous choreography."

From the corner of her eyes, Marita could see Emily slowly finding the gym floor very interesting. She, herself, could feel her blood boiling from hearing Candace's comments. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep her from saying something she could be regretting later.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get out of my face!" Candace yelled again. "Wednesdays! 3.15 sharp! Be there so I can kick your butts in shape!"

Trying out for the Bellefires was probably the best idea Emily had came up with. She had to admit; her blonde friend was full of good ones. Most of the time, that is, when she wasn't busy making googley eyes with a giant dork that was in the football team named Tom— or when she wasn't busy making googley eyes with Adam.

Yes. Adam.

The boy she lived with. The boy who didn't set the toilet seat back after using the bathroom. The boy who kept bugging her to introduce him to her 'hot friends'.

But he was also the boy who never took a break from looking out for her. He was the boy who would just keep her company sitting out on the porch until Angela called for dinner. Sometimes they'd talk, sometimes they fight just because they could, but most of the time they just stay quiet with an understanding of what was in each other's mind.

So… she guessed she didn't mind that much if Adam and Emily started dating. It wasn't like they were going to make out in front of her in her own house.

Oh, wait.

Yeeaaah… that totally happened before.

oOoOo

It had been 2 years, 2 months, 2 weeks and 5 days since Dan found out that Marita had been sneaking into his office to play the piano. The night it happened, Marita didn't know that Dan was stuck being the designated driver at one of his coworkers' farewell party. Neither did she know he would come home at 2 in the morning, right when she was in the middle of Feist's Now At Last.

She got into Feist's music a little late, as Belleville, Missouri, wasn't the best town when it came to discovering independent artists. In fact, the first time Marita heard about her was from an iPod commercial on TV. But once she made the effort of listening to all of Feist's albums, the music grew on her fast.

Marita loved the piano ballad especially. It was easy to play, and the words were just… she couldn't even describe it. It was like they expressed everything in her mind in a way that she couldn't. They were sad, depressing and bleak just like her heart and soul, and perfectly matched the season.

"What makes winters lonely?" she sang the last line. "Now at last I know."

"You're very good," Marita heard a voice from the door and saw Dan with a big smile on his face.

Marita's eyes widened. She really didn't expect Dan to be up at that hour. "Sorry," she got up on her feet. She did sneak into the office but, technically, she didn't break any rules because Dan had given his permission. So why was she panicking?

Marita shut the piano and walked hurriedly to the door. "Good night," she told him again.

"Whoa, hey, stop," Dan chuckled. She took a step and stood between Marita and the door. "What are you sorry for? I told you to come in here anytime you want. I just wasn't expecting to find you her at," he looked at his wrist watch, "2.30 AM on a school night."

Marita crossed her arms. She was really not in the mood for a conversation. Now that Dan had heard her play, and sing, it was as if she had no secrets left to call her own.

"I mean it. You're really, really good. I didn't know you could play so well! And that voice, I mean," Dan let out a breath. He ran his fingers through his hair and smiled so big that Marita shifted uncomfortably. "Wow. Just… wow."

"Thanks," Marita casually replied with a small smile, her panic gone. Mostly, it was just a mild case of embarrassment that was left bubbling inside. It felt really nice to have someone complimenting her. 

"Can I go now? It's late and I got school in the morning."

"Oh, yeah," Dan nodded and stepped aside. When Marita was half way out the door, he spoke again. "But don't think you're not gonna get grounded for staying up past your curfew."

The next time she snuck into Dan's office, she found a big pile of sheet music, old songs and new, on top of the piano with a note attached to it.

Marita,

As a punishment, you're going to learn these songs.

Have fun :-)

- Dan

  

oOoOo

It had been exactly 3 years since she told Emily about her parents and it was only because the blonde girl caught her in a moment of weakness.

King Henry was very sick that day. The cat wouldn't stop throwing up his guts and Marita had to take care of him. Not because nobody else in the house wanted to, but because she didn't trust anyone with their cat.

After more than 24 hours of no sleep, Marita finally surrendered to Angela's suggestion and took the cat to the vet. The doctor, who was probably only a little bit older than Dan, told her that King Henry might've had swallowed something poisonous like mothballs and that he was very weak after losing so much fluid overnight. The doctor also told her that his chance of survival depended entirely on whether or not the poison damaged his stomach.

Marita watched as the doctor attached an IV to the poor cat. She finally broke down when she realized that the reason why King Henry didn't flinch when the needle went into him was not because he didn't feel it. It was because he couldn't.

When Emily found her (or almost ran her over or whatever), Marita was a mess. Her eyes were red, puffy and tired. There were leftover tears down her face and Emily could even still hear residual sniffles that resulted from (what she assumed to be) Marita's heavy crying.

The moment Emily asked her what was wrong, Marita just fell to pieces. She sobbed into her friend's hug, telling a tangled story about a cat, her best friend, and finally about her parents. It was far less than detailed, as the story mostly sounded like gibberish, but Emily got the gist of it. It didn't take her much to figure it all out when her friend kept asking, "why do I keep losing?" over and over again.

oOoOo

It had been 4 years, 3 months and 3 weeks since Marita bought two bracelet charms for the first time. One was a piano that she attached to her own bracelet, the other one a unicorn that she put into a tiny box wrapped with a bow, which she then put under the decorated tree in the living room along with the other presents.

Nobody opened the box the next week, as it had nobody else's name except for the one person who wasn't there.

The box had been resting in a one of Marita's drawers since then, with her piece of old newspaper and many other tiny boxes that she was keeping safe until the rightful owner returns.

oOoOo

It had been 4 years, 4 months, 1 week and 3 days since her best friend Abigail was taken away in the middle of the night.

But who was counting?