How Important Is Getting There? (6/10+1)

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Chapter 6

“Penny. Penny, you're swerving,” Tara whispers from behind the driver's headrest. She has been clutching tightly to whatever she can grab a hold on. And even though there is no rule about wearing the safety belt when you're sitting in the backseat, she's already strapped on since more than an hour ago— when she saw Rose finally fell asleep.

Penny snaps out of her drowsiness and regains control of the wheel. She shakes her head to shake the sleep out of her system. Looking to her right, Rose is already asleep, clutching her still playing iPod— she's done good today by bringing back the best of the nineties.

From her rearview mirror Penny can spot a sleeping Chiquita. She's resting her right side against the door. Ouch, Penny thinks. Cee's bound to get a sore neck in the morning.


“You're out of it, P,” Tara reminds her again from the backseat, putting a hand on Penny's shoulder. “Wanna get off the highway and get some coffee or something?”

“No, I'm good,” Penny says shrugging her shoulder so that Tara's hand lets go of it. She's been driving for more than 10 hours, with just a couple of gas and restroom stops. She could really use a break, but she knows that if she takes that break, there's no way she'd muster the energy to go back behind the steering wheel without delaying their homecoming for at least 3-4 hours. Besides, she's not about to let Tara, or anyone for that matter, drive.

“Look, P,” Tara says in a whisper but a stern one. “I know that I'm the last person that you want to talk to, but it just so happens that I'm your only one company in this car that's still awake right now. I also want to stay alive because a) I want to see my mom, and b) I got a show in less than a month and I don't want to lose a leg before it,” she pauses. “So you got two choices. Either you keep driving and kill us all because you're too damn proud to let me drive, or you get off this highway right now, get some rest, and actually live to continue avoiding me for at least 4 more years.”

There was a battle of glares going on for a moment on the rearview mirror, but Penny ends up being the first one to give in.

//

She is eleven years old and for the first time in Penny's life she's having a family dinner, with a family that isn't even hers. She has been shifting uncomfortably in her seat, not exactly sure what to do. She's sitting across the kind couple that she's been meeting for the past 6 months, next to their daughter who's like her, also 11.


The three other people at the table are chatting away, laughing, poking each other's egos. Penny can't help the smile that's already on her face, but she snaps herself out of it because she doesn't know if she's allowed to smile. So she tries the hardest to observe the table without giving out her feelings— and fails. There's no stopping the tugs of smiles she's been feeling on her face.


When the daughter dumps a big piece of fried chicken onto her plate and grins, Penny can't help but wonder, where has this family been all my life?

//

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“Who says I hate you?” Penny takes a sip of her coffee.

Realizing that she's not going to get anything else from her speaking opponent, Tara sighs a deep breath before sipping her coffee. “Fine,” she says. “That's good enough for now.”

//

“Here's our room,” the daughter, whose name is Tara, says. “Since you travel light and all,” she motions to Penny's duffel bag— that holds all her belongings that she collected over the years, “you can wear whatever you want from my closet. They're gonna be a bit long for you since I'm a bit taller... but yeah, help yourself.”


“Are you sure,” Penny asks cautiously. “I mean, they're your clothes. And this is your room.”


Tara furrows her eyebrows and looks around the room. “Don't be silly. Do you see a sign that says 'Tara's Room' anywhere? Besides, we're already sharing a mom and a dad. What's a closet? From now on we share everything,” Tara smiles at her, and Penny sees that it's not a smile she sees whenever potential moms and dads come to visit the Home. There's no pity in it. No disgust. No false hopes. A smile. Just a smile.

//

“You know what, I take it back. It's not good enough,” Tara puts down her fork after 15 minutes of eating in false peace. “What do you want,” she asks after looking around the diner, this time with a much quieter manner than the way she had put down that fork.

“I don't wanna fight,” Penny tries to be nonchalant.

“Screw that! You don't wanna fight? We're already fighting!” Tara pounds the table with the palm of her handt. She doesn't care anymore.

Penny looks over to a couple of waitresses at the counter. From the looks of it, they're not liking what they're witnessing. Worried that they're going to get kicked out from the commotion, Penny opens her mouth to say something. Tara puts her hand up to stop her.

“The funny thing is,” Tara hisses, “I don't think you even know what it's all about.”

Penny mumbles something incoherently, suddenly became too interested in a dollop of ketchup on her plate.

What's left of the already thin wire of patience in Tara's brain snaps. She moves Penny's plate and Penny doesn't like it. Penny gets up abruptly, getting the attention of the waitresses and some of the diner's patrons. She digs out cash from her purse, throws it on the table and leaves. After a quick apology to the whole diner, Tara follows Penny, who's already considering buying Tara a broomstick.

About halfway through the parking lot, they stop in their tracks. Through the windows they can see that at some point during their time in the diner, Rose had managed to move into the backseat and is now using Chiquita's left side as her pillow.

Neither said a word. Both Penny and Tara know waking up Rose and Chiquita is a lost cause. So they reluctantly get in the car, knowing that this is going to be one hell of a long drive, and drive off.

//

“Hey. You awake?” Penny whispers from under the covers. The girls are having their monthly tent night in the living room. They're 14, but if there's anything that they ace, is acting like they're half that age.


“Yeah,” Tara croaks. She wasn't really, but she's never one to ignore a conversation. “Can't sleep?”


“Kind of. Cee keeps on kicking me.”


“Just move.”


“Can't. Rose is pinning me,” Penny sighs. Rose sits up to observe the situation before she starts laughing. Rose is probably having a dream that involves a giant teddy bear.


“Just move. It's OK. I've known them since we were babies. They're not gonna wake up. You can share my blanket.”

//

“Still awake?”


“Yep.”


“I was wondering... What do you wanna be when you grow up? Like, what's your dream,” Tara asks before she continues. “I know Rose gets lost in books and she told me she wants to open a bookstore. Cee's so good in languages... maybe she'll get to travel the world one day. I wanna travel the world too... but be famous for something I'm good at. Not the hey-look-I-got-drunk-and-killed-someone kind of famous.”


“You can be dancer! You love dancing and we all know you're good at it,” Penny whispers excitedly. ”I'll watch your every performance.”


“That'll be awesome. Yeah, I can be a dancer,” Tara agrees, and rolls on her side to face Penny. “What about you?”


“Me,” Penny looks around. “I thought my dream was to open a bookstore too when I was little. But,” she takes a deep breath and basks in everything that surrounds her. She closes her eyes and smells the faint leftover cinnamon whiff from Sally's afternoon baking. She opens her eyes again and looks over at picture frames hanging on the wall— she's in every one. She can hear laughter bouncing off the walls of the living room to the bedrooms, to the kitchen, to the dining table, to the blankets wrapping Rose and Cee, to the blankets wrapping Tara and herself.


“What is it,” she hears Tara ask again.


“Pretty sure I'm already living it,” Penny says in a hush. But then she finds herself blushing for being such a sap.


“Then I promise I'll do my best to keep it alive until we're all old and wrinkly.”


“Two by two.”


Tara smiles, “equals four.”



(end of chapter 6)